For The Nights We Spent Together
by RavenclawWayToBe
Summary: Lily Evans knows James Potter's out of her league. How could she ever compare to a girl like that? /a Jily Oneshot/


She really didn't know why she even bothered to come to this thing.

She had deluded herself into thinking that maybe this was his way of showing her that he liked her, and maybe it was because she liked him too, but obviously she was very wrong.

Lily Evans sat, alone, at a table in a room full of people she didn't know, and damnit he was over there having the time of his life with some other girl. What was the point in even asking her when he was going to leave her anyways.

And that other bint, oh that girl. Lily couldn't help but glare at her. Damn her for her stupid perfect complexion and white teeth and pretty eyes and gorgeous curled hair and stupid tight fitting gold dress that showed all her curves. Lily felt like she may have well been a peasant compared to the girl. She had on a green dress that fell just below her knees and had capped sleeves. She bought it, thinking it was a pretty color and conservative enough that when she met anyone that he introduced her to, she wouldn't immediately be deemed just another bimbo. But alas, there he was, over there, with her.

It didn't make sense to her. She was logical, and each and every sign pointed to him liking her. And she thought that maybe, just maybe, that they could work. They balanced each other out. She was responsible and he was more carefree, she stressed and he went with the flow, he brightened her days and made her laugh even when it all seemed impossible. She knew that there was something there, so had he really moved on? Why would he even bother to invite her when he barely talked to her during dinner then immediately ran off with that slag (who admittedly didn't seem all that bad, but Lily couldn't help but call names at a time like this) and left her in the dark. It was his parents' event and she hardly knew anyone. How dare he leave her there on her own?

With all these thoughts swirling in her head, she hardly noticed Sirius Black approach her table. She was staring blankly up at the crystal chandeliers when he finally cleared his throat and got her out of her reverie.

"Evans, you look like you're enjoying the night," he said sarcastically.

"Oh why yes Black, I love being abandoned on my first time going to Potter's house while he's off with some other bird. Yes, I would say the night is going quite smashingly indeed." He laughed a bit at that.

They'd formed a bit of a makeshift friendship that seventh year, and it was only Christmas, but she thought they were making definite progress. She realized that he had a hard home situation and that he always had a facade of not caring when deep down, he cared too much. She could sympathize. She thought that was why they had formed a friendship. Sometimes, people with problems just flock together, and that surely seemed to be the case.

"Oh come on Evans, go get yourself a drink and some food. There are plenty of blokes here who would fancy a dance with you. See look, right over there, by the fireplace, he's definitely checking you out," Sirius smirked.

Lily glanced over and saw the man he was talking about. "Just what I need black, a forty year old man hitting on me. Just absolutely swell," she giggled before the situation hit her again, "I just don't get why he invited me you know? Did he feel like he had to, just because I'm Head Girl. He really didn't, and I would feel much better if he hadn't because obviously I don't belong here and he's got better things to do." She had forgotten that Sirius was sitting there, and it just felt good to be able to vocalize the thoughts that had been in her head for about an hour.

"He didn't feel like he had to bring you, Prongs' just got stuff right now, he'll be around. This happens every time."

"Well, I might as well go, he won't notice anyways. He's busy and my mom could probably use the help at home you know. My dad's started taking night shifts and she gets lonely, especially with Tuney gone. Yeah, I think I'll go." She made to stand up but Sirius stood too and blocked her space.

"Evans, you can't leave now. The music's just starting and soon all the adults will be smashed. That's the best part of the night; only reason I don't drink is because they're funnier to watch while sober. Now come on, I can introduce you to some people, and you can try some cheese or something. You like cheese right?"

"No Sirius, I really better get going, and as exciting as drunk people are, I really should be getting home."

"No Evans," he said with determination, "you're staying. You're going to dance with me, just once if I'm that terrible, but you're at least going to stay for one dance. That's all I'm asking. You have no options." She looked at him and realized that he wasn't joking and for once was rather, well, serious. He smiled gently at her and she wondered why he was acting so kind, coming to sit with her and taking time to be with her. Even dancing, when he knew she had two left feet, was so unlike Sirius, that she only nodded her head because she was stunned at his proposal.

"Milady," he bowed jokingly and she stood up and curtsied back. He laughed a bit and they made their way to the dance floor.

She couldn't help but notice how big the room was. People were everywhere, by the windows chatting, at the bar drinking, laughing at tables, and there were even a few other people scattered along the dance floor moving to the slow beat. She saw James and that girl again, and he still wasn't paying attention. She was adjusting her hair while he looked at her and nodded. Lily could tell the girl asked how she looked and James, ever so gracious, probably told her she looked wonderful. Lily thought about how she wished it were her, and how she spent so much time trying to contain her stupid hair that just had to be so incredibly frizzy and non-manageable. It had taken her 2 hours just to straighten it, and she even spent extra time working on her makeup too. She wondered if he even noticed her while they were other girls as beautiful as that one in the room. She sighed as she and Sirius stopped walking and he put his hands around her hips. He noticed her sigh, but didn't say anything. Sometimes he was too perceptive for his own good.

"I can't dance," she blurted out. He knew, but she wondered if he gave it any consideration.

"You'll learn, it's easy," he said.

"No I can't; I've tried before and nothing's worked. No matter how many different books I get, it's always just too much." This night was just getting worse and worse. She didn't know if she would even be able to stick around for the dance because she could feel herself drowning in sadness. Seeing James with that other girl after trying so hard to look good and still coming up short, and now having to tell Sirius Black that she couldn't learn how to dance. The humiliation was like a wave and she could feel tears welling up in her eyes.

"That's because you can't learn this in books Evans. Dancing is about rhythm and feeling the movements, you can't just be all technical. Just follow my lead, you'll be fine. But I also get the feeling that you have a hard time giving up the lead," he smirked.

"Oh shut it," she muttered.

She stood a safe few feet away from him, but he pulled her in by the waist and laughed, "No need to look so terrified. I won't bite, just put your feet on top of mine a bit and follow where I move mine. Mimic the movements."

"Okay," she whispered. She felt foolish, she shouldn't need a boy like Sirius to teach her how to dance in a room full of people. She was a girl, she should be able to do this.

He moved his feet gracefully, and though she stumbled a few times, she got the hang of it after a minute or too.

"Not so hard, see I told you," he smirked. She looked up at him and smiled a bit. She admired him. He was hard around the edges, but a genuine good guy. She could see why he and James were best friends.

They danced for a few more minutes, until she started to notice people looking at them. She didn't know why they were looking at them, but it felt like a million pairs of eyes were watching and judging her every move. She looked up to Sirius and he didn't seem to notice anything. She was probably paranoid, but she couldn't help but get nervous.

Her dress wasn't anything special, and after all, James told her that it wasn't a big deal. "Just get a dress," he told her, "something nice." And she had, or she thought she had, but she didn't have much money to spare. With Petunia getting married, her dad already started taking extra shifts, and between Hogwarts for 8 months and taking additional summer courses for leisure she didn't have time for a job, and therefore had no money to spend. The dress was on sale when she got it, and she thought it was fine, until she saw that every other person was wearing expensive dress robes or gowns and she felt utterly silly.

With the tears welling up once again, she stepped back from Sirius and took her hands off of his shoulders. "Well, I think that was at least one dance Black," she tried to sound light but to her she sounded fake, "but I think it is time for me to bid you adieu. I'll see you again in January," she muttered before turning and walking back to the table.

Walking towards the exit, she simply felt foolish. She had developed feelings for James when she knew he was over her, done with her rejection, and she understood that. But then she agreed to come to this ball, without thinking about what would actually take place, and thought that maybe she would fit right in. There was no way a muggle born like her would ever fit in a world like James'. He was rich and pure blood and extremely talented, there was no reason why people shouldn't have been looking at her and judging her. She had made a fool of herself simply by coming, and getting her hopes up. She always thought romance was rubbish, and now she knew it all too well.

It was a nice night when she arrived outside. She was glad that she had brought a coat, because it was cold but nothing too bad. It snowed lightly, and despite the fact that her night had been such rubbish, she couldn't help but smile. It was beautiful. She loved winter, and each time it snowed, it was wonderland for her. The lights that illuminated the path also reflected off of the freely falling flakes and she had to slow down to take it all in. The outside was gorgeous, the front path surrounded by gardens and trees. The snow coated the ground and her footprints were the only ones visible. She felt like she was in her own world, a world where blood purity didn't exist, where her best friend hadn't betrayed her because of her heritage, where she didn't fall for guys who were so far out of her realm it was scary, a world where she could just be happy.

And she thought of James. She thought of how he would help her when she was stressed out with head duties even though she said she could handle it. She thought of the time she got sick and he let her sleep on the couch all day and brought her food in between classes. She thought of nights where she had nightmares, and he would sit by the fire with her and let her talk it all out to him. She thought of his smile and his laugh and his terrible jokes that made her laugh until she cried. And like magic, there he was.

Running towards her was James Potter. The boy who plagued her thoughts all night, the boy who had given up on her after 6 years, the boy who she had misjudged again and again, and yet he still came out after her.

She kept walking since her thoughts were currently conflicting inside of her. On one hand, he was one of the best friends she had ever had, another was that maybe she wanted more than just friendship, another kept telling her that he was with that other bird, and she missed her chance. But the only thought she could really focus on was one that kept saying "one more chance."

He caught up to her after a few seconds, she thought he jogged due to his shortness of breath and warm hands on her shoulder. She stopped, and turned around. His glasses were askew on his face, his tie was out of place. And all she could do was smile. His face, as simple as that, made her smile.

"Where are you going?" he asked, sounding hurt.

"I thought I should get home, my dad's working late and my mom gets lonely," but he cut her off.

"Yeah, yeah, Sirius already gave me that spiel. But I know you, you don't just leave without saying goodbye, and you're a shit liar Evans. Now tell me the real reason, why are you leaving?"

She didn't know how to respond. She didn't want to be dishonest with James, but she didn't want to tell him the truth, that it was too hard to see him with that other girl, that she thought that if she had to endure any more of that she would combust, and how she would never ever fit into the lifestyle he lived. But instead, she just said, "I think it's just time for me to get home."

"No Evans, not this time," he said fiercely. "Stop acting like this isn't a big deal. I know you're upset, I can tell just by the way you walked out of there. I don't want to keep playing games with you anymore okay? I don't want us to beat around the bush or pretend like there isn't anything between us. I know it's there and so do you. Why would you leave like that? I invited you here so you could meet my parents and we'd have a fun time, but then you leave almost immediately after dinner's done? Do you see the problem there?"

She felt like he was attacking her, and she felt herself get defensive. "It wasn't my fault that I left okay! You were the one that just up and left me sitting alone at the table when you went off with that stupid model bird that you seemed to enjoy so much. Why should I stick around for the night? To watch you two flirt? You were the one that said we had something, and then you left me to go chase after some tail. And you left me in a group of people I've never met before, half of which would probably hate me for being muggle born. If you were going to do that, why even invite me?"

"You really think I was chasing tail in there?"

"Yeah I do," she shouted, "and I understand why! She was tall and thin, probably athletic, and she has everything you guys look for. A nice body, pretty face, gorgeous hair, how can I even compare to that? Silly, naïve, little Lily Evans falls for it again. Sure, go to some ball that you got invited to, it'll be fun, you'll have so much fun. Well Potter, it's not really fun watching someone you have feelings for chase after some other girl. But I don't blame you. After how harsh I was to you all those years, how could I? So what was this, a way to get back at me, to give me a taste of my own medicine? Well thanks, message received. I'm sorry I hurt you, now let me go back home." The tears that had been welling up all night spilled out at the end and she wiped them away fiercely. He wasn't worth her tears. She'd always told herself that boys weren't worth it, but now she couldn't seem to stop.

"I wasn't chasing other girls Lily. She's my cousin." he whispered.

"Your cousin?" Well, Lily sure felt stupid.

"Yeah," he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "They live in France, and we were best friends when we were little. We don't get to see them much though, so it was like a reunion of sorts. I didn't mean to abandon you in there, I just thought Sirius would've come along sooner and would've told you. So much for that. Speaking of which, I just might kill him," James muttered the last part.

The only thing running through Lily's mind was 'stupid, stupid, stupid".

There was an awkward silence in which Lily continued her mantra and James was just trying to process the fact that Lily thought he was flirting with his cousin and Lily might have fancied him and Lily was crying and Lily looked beautiful even when she cried and ...

"Oh shit, Lily, I didn't mean to make you cry. Oh Merlin no! I'm sorry I got angry at you, I just, well, I don't know. You were leaving and I didn't know why and I didn't have time to explain myself and oh man I really messed up didn't I?" he said quickly in one breath. He pulled her in for a hug and she went willingly, wrapping her arms around him and putting her face to his chest.

He thought she felt perfectly there. He compared the feeling to that of being on his broomstick or waking up on a Saturday morning all warm in the sheets and without a care in the world. Lily felt like goodness in his arms.

Lily thought about how absurd he must think she was, crying all over him like that. Merlin, she needed to get her act together. But also, she couldn't help but notice how tenderly he held her, like she was the most precious item in the world and he wouldn't let anything get to her. She felt loved, she felt like she belonged right there, in that moment.

"James," she whispered.

"Yeah Lils."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too."

That was it. No long winded explanations about the jealousy or the anger or the offense or defense. They understood each other. They knew that the sorry was for more than the tears or the yelling, it was saying sorry for all the wrongs. Sorry for the jealousy and the mistrust, sorry for leaving and not saying goodbye. It was a sorry, a fresh start.

"And James."

"Yes."

"Can we stay here forever?"

"I don't see why not Lils."

"I like it here."

"Me too."

She looked up at him, and he looked down at her. Their noses were close, almost touching.

"Lily," he breathed.

"Yeah."

"I think I'm going to kiss you now."

"I think I'd like that very much."

And he kissed her, soft and sweet, but with six years of waiting behind him. She kissed him with all of herself. They would spend the rest of their lives sharing these kisses.

It didn't matter to them how the night had started, whether good or bad, but each time they looked back at that night for the rest of their lives, all they remembered was the falling flakes of snow, and the time that they finally kissed.

They didn't have much time together, but the kisses were sweet and the love was true. It wasn't about the money or their age. They loved each other, enough to die for one another, and that made them the happiest people alive.

Disclaimer: Im not JKR I own nothing

A/N: I feel like this story was a bit rushed and the tone from beginning to end is too different. Anyways, I hope you at least liked it. I will probably get around to editing it a bit in the future, but it would be alot easier if i got some reviews! Thanks a million for the reads :)


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